At some point, everyone gets behind on weekly tasks. It’s a common experience for us to have something that we need to get done and yet we keep finding ourselves not getting it done and shifting it around in our minds, to the point where we start to feel guilty that it isn’t done. And that guilt can then shift into one of those nasty judgmental thoughts about yourself. It is very easy to go from “I am struggling to find the time to do xyz task” to “What is wrong with me, why can’t I get this done?” to “I’m so lazy, people must be able to tell that I’m failing at this”. Right? It is easy to find space to judge ourselves and jump from one thought to a very extreme judgment faster than you realize.

And so this is your quick reminder to Find The Pause. When your automatic thought response goes from zero to sixty, or “I didn’t complete this” to “I’m an epic failure”, it is important to take a deep breath and find the space between those two thoughts. Maybe you aren’t doing well at whatever it is you are struggling with, or maybe you have too much going on right now. Maybe the task requires you to ask for assistance and that’s something you struggle with as well. Maybe the task is too complicated and you don’t know where to start. Or maybe the task is super boring and you just don’t want to do it; I’m looking at you, laundry pile.

So take this journaling moment, or maybe some time this week, to notice a moment when your automatic thought is very negative towards yourself. Often it takes the form of “I should”, “I always”, or “I can’t” and so it’s very noticeable. Take a deep breath after you find yourself thinking that way about yourself and try to find the space or the pause, and reframe that statement into a more realistic statement. Such as “I really wanted to send this journal prompt out on time, but I am one person with a lot of people counting on me moment to moment, and so this one task will have to wait until I make sure everyone is ok and I have a quiet moment to send it out”. Find that space between automatic thoughts and lets see if doing that also equates to being a little kinder to yourself.

Journal Prompt: Establishing Work Boundaries

June 12, 2023 Meredith McCabe

Everyone has a job that they do, regardless of whether or not you get paid to do that job and one thing that has become increasingly problematic is how we are navigating our work-life balance and how we are holding boundaries around work. I’m not totally sure they were great to begin with, but the COVID years definitely created an additional layer of stress and mental health strain due to the idea that we were no longer working from home, we were living at work. And so now that we are coming out of the pandemic and going back to “normal” work-life balance, people are struggling to find the balance even more than they were several years ago. It is causing tremendous strain on our mental health. Our work life is never going to be satisfied with how much we can give to it, and so it is up to us to create and hold the boundaries that make work less of a situation where we feel unbalanced.

There are a lot of boundary issues that come up in people’s work lives, but what are some common boundary issues that people face in the workplace? One of the most common challenges people face is not knowing how to say "no" when they're asked to take on additional tasks or responsibilities. This can result in feeling overwhelmed and overworked and as if you are always working at a deficit and can never reach that balance point.

Another boundary issue that people often encounter is not knowing how to deal with difficult colleagues or supervisors. This can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment, which can ultimately impact your job satisfaction and performance.

So, what can we do? Here are some tips to keep in mind when navigating boundary issues at work and each is a journal prompt if you want to explore a bit how it is impacting you and your work/life balance.

Learn to say "no." I’ve talked about this before, and why it is important to be assertive and communicate your boundaries clearly. Saying no to tasks that are outside of your job description or that you don't have the capacity to complete can help prevent burnout and reduce stress levels.

Set realistic goals. It's important to set goals that are attainable and aligned with your skills and abilities. Setting unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of failure and frustration, which can ultimately impact your motivation and job satisfaction.

Prioritize self-care. I’ve also talked about this before. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries. This can include taking breaks, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in activities that bring you joy outside of work.

Communicate effectively. Effective communication is key to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in the workplace. This means being clear and direct in your communication, listening actively, and responding appropriately.

Establish consequences for boundary violations. If someone repeatedly violates your boundaries, it's important to establish consequences. This can include having a conversation with them, involving HR, or even considering finding a new job. (This might be tricky if your job is as a stay at home parent).