Communication in Healthy Relationships

Maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging, particularly when mental health challenges are involved. Effective communication and establishing clear boundaries become essential components in fostering understanding, support, and respect. So let's focus on how to navigate relationships while managing mental health challenges, emphasizing the importance of open communication and establishing healthy boundaries.

Open and Honest Communication: Clear and open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and it becomes even more crucial when mental health challenges are present. Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your loved ones can help them better understand your experiences and provide the support you require. Be honest about your emotions and articulate your boundaries and expectations regarding your mental health. Encourage your loved ones to ask questions and actively listen to their concerns. Together, you can work towards a deeper understanding and create an environment that fosters empathy and compassion. Look up “I Messages” in communication for a really easy and effective communication strategy.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries: Setting and maintaining boundaries  are vital for maintaining your mental well-being while navigating relationships. Identify what feels comfortable and healthy for you, and communicate those boundaries clearly with your loved ones. This could include limits on discussing certain topics, understanding when you need space or alone time, or establishing boundaries around providing emotional support. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish—it is an act of self-care that ensures you can prioritize your mental health needs. Mutual respect for each other's boundaries strengthens the foundation of your relationship and fosters a healthier dynamic. I talk a lot about boundaries and use a green stop sign as an example (if I haven’t shared that with you, let me know and I will), how can you use your green stop sign in your relationship?

Reflecting on your own relationships and mental health challenges, how have your mental health challenges influenced your relationships in the past, and what boundaries or communication strategies could you implement to promote healthier dynamics? Explore any patterns you have noticed and consider how you can effectively communicate your needs and expectations with your loved ones. What have you tried (and maybe are still trying) that isn’t working?

Journal Prompt: Removing the Word "Should" and it's Correlation to Shame

Many people think they “should” be good at something.  Whether it’s having patience, or strong communication skills, or better professional skills, there seems to be this idea that there is a benchmark for each stage in our life in regards to abilities, and yet these benchmarks are created internally.  Almost as if we are failing at something while still learning, and then being harsh with ourselves as a result.

One of the things I like about yoga (no, I’m not a yoga pusher, I think it’s wonderful for me but I understand it’s not for everyone) is that you are never truly a “yoga master” or “good at yoga”.  You are continually in a state of learning.  It’s called a “yoga practice” because you are always within your learning process and developing at your own pace.  It’s not a competition, the only thing that matters is what is happening on your own yoga mat.  

Using the concepts of “practice” and “learning process”, can you think of spaces in your life where you are judging yourself harshly based on either an internal benchmark or comparisons with other people and what they are doing?  Can you take a moment to look at what those internal benchmarks are really doing for you and allow yourself to remember that you are still in your learning process?  What would it feel like to allow yourself to learn rather then expect yourself to know things right off the bat and then judge yourself for it?

Journal Prompt: A Deeper Look At Resiliency

I want you to focus on resilience and how it impacts different aspects of your life.  People often use the term resiliency when discussing someone who has experienced something traumatic or challenging and yet appears to have come through the experience unscathed.  Almost as if their inner and organic quality of being a resilient person is what allowed them to avoid any impact from the trauma.  We say things like “Well, her house burned down and her dog ran away and her best friend moved across the country, but she seems fine” as if this woman is so strong that she can sustain these experiences unscatehd due to her resilient nature. 

That is certainly one way to see it, but according to The Merriam Webster Dictionary, it is defined as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.”

Recover from or adjust easily.  That little phrase right there is the meat of this concept.  Resiliency does not mean that challenges have no impact on us, it means that when we are impacted by challenges, we can bounce back or adjust course to suit the new situation we find ourselves in.  It means that after her house burned down, she found a new place to live and understands fire safety in more detail now, but doesn’t stay up all night in fear of another fire.  Or that her dog did run away, but she made a concerted effort to find him by posting on social media and hanging flyers until he was located.  And that her friend did move away, but they were able to maintain their connection via technology and planned a few trips to see each other next year.  It’s not that she is unscathed from these experiences, it’s simply that she was able to pivot and recover from each in a way that made moving along in life accessible.  I think the word “easily” throws a bit of a wrench in the whole concept, but it can be subjective and what is easy for someone else might feel differently to you.

Taking this definition of resiliency, are there areas in your life that maybe you didn’t give yourself enough credit for at the time?  Maybe you don’t view yourself as resilient but upon further thought, you realize you do in fact have situations that were challenging for you and that you navigated through by recovering and adjusting to your new normal.  Everyone on this planet recently navigated a global pandemic, and regardless of what your experience with it was or how you feel now two years after it started, the fact remains that somehow you did in fact pivot your life a bit to deal with the changes and challenges it presented.  Would you view your resiliency as growing during this time or being tested in new ways where you found yourself struggling more?  Take a few moments to ponder your own resiliency and how you have recovered and adjusted at various points in your life.