One thing we talk about quite a bit as therapists is the idea of a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset. What are those? I can pretty quickly explain. A fixed mindset is the concept or belief that something is the way it is. People who speak or think in fixed mindsets use words such as always and never, the use phrases such as “this is just the way it is in my family”, and they act in resistant ways when approached about a new subject. A growth mindset is basically the opposite of that. It’s when someone is open to new ideas and new concepts and can be open to them even when they don’t feel comfortable or familiar. Think about food and little kids. If you put a piece of broccoli (my personal favorite food) in front of many kids, you will see them make the yuck face and push the plate away. That’s the fixed mindset, without even trying it, the kids think it’s gross. But some kids are a little more adventurous with food and may sniff at it or take a little bite and then decide if it is something they like. Whether it becomes part of their food repertoire or not, they were open to the idea of it, which is similar to the concept of growth mindset.
People who have a growth mindset:
-Know progress takes time
-Keep trying until the feel they have succeeded
-Love learning
-Ask for help
-Learn from feedback
-Feel and notice inspiration
-Are not afraid to fail a bit
-Work very hard at things
-Love a challenge
-View things from an opportunity lens rather than a risk or obligation lens
Sounds good right? This list sounds like the kind of person we all like spending time with because they’re full of interesting stories and experiences. But you don't have to quit your job and become a professional skydiver (unless you want to of course) in order to develop a growth mindset. The easiest way to start thinking in that direction is to take notice of how many never/always statements run through your head any given day. How many times do you find yourself thinking “absolutely not” or “no way”. Sometimes those are warranted, I will admit I get quite a few requests from my kids on a day to day basis that leave me in the “that will absolutely never happen” mindset, kids are good at bringing that out in their parents sometimes.
But in terms of day to day experiences, whether that is at work or with friends or maybe around a project you’ve wanted to tackle, look at how you think about it. If you’ve decided you want to clean out your closet but keep thinking “it’s such a huge task, it’ll take forever” you are using a fixed mindset. What about if you thought of it in a way such as “It’s a big task, but I bet I’ll find some things I forgot I had, and I may even be able to get rid of enough stuff that my closet will be easier to keep tidy”. That’s a growth mindset around the same issue. After you’ve had a bit of time to identify some fixed mindset patterns that you have, take a moment to rework them into what they’d look like if you utilized a growth mindset and see what feelings that brings up in you. Have fun with it, even if you “never enjoy journaling”.