Permission to Put Yourself First

You wake up Monday morning and look around at your house and realize that practically everyhign in your life is in need of your attention. The house is a mess after a busy weekend, the kids have a long week of activities ahead of you, the pantry is bare, and the pets look like they haven’t been groomed in a year. Whew, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed in this moment and allow that anxiety thought cycle to kick into gear.

I know this is challenging, but right in that moment I’d like for you to think a little bit about embracing the idea of putting yourself first, embracing self-care, and creating an actual list of your own personal priorities in order to maintain your mental health. In a world that constantly demands our time and attention, it's easy to lose sight of our own needs and desires. We often find ourselves juggling multiple responsibilities and obligations, neglecting the most crucial aspect of our well-being: ourselves. However, giving yourself permission to choose yourself first is not selfish; it's an act of self-care and empowerment. By prioritizing your own needs, you are better equipped to serve others and lead a more fulfilling life.

Choosing yourself first means setting healthy boundaries and learning to say "no" when necessary. I feel like a broken record some days, but boundaries boundaries boundaries.  It's about recognizing your limits and not overextending yourself to please others at the expense of your own mental and emotional well-being. It's about acknowledging that self-care is not a luxury but a necessity. Taking time to recharge, engage in activities you love, and invest in your personal growth is essential for maintaining balance and finding joy in your daily life.

When you give yourself permission to choose yourself first, you send a powerful message to yourself and those around you. You communicate that your needs and aspirations matter, and that you value your own happiness and fulfillment. By taking care of yourself, you become a role model for others, encouraging them to prioritize their own well-being too. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it's a transformative practice that allows you to show up as your best self in all aspects of your life.

So basically, giving yourself permission to choose yourself first is an act of self-love and empowerment. By prioritizing your own needs and desires, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care, you can lead a more balanced, joyful, and fulfilling life. Remember, you are deserving of the love and attention you give to others. Embrace the power of choosing yourself first, and watch as your life transforms for the better.

Reflect on a time when you prioritized someone else's needs over your own. How did it make you feel? Did you notice any negative impacts on your well-being? How could you have approached the situation differently to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty?

List three activities or practices that bring you joy and make you feel rejuvenated. How often do you engage in these activities? If you find yourself neglecting them, what barriers or beliefs are holding you back? How can you overcome those obstacles and make space for these joyful moments in your life?

Explore any fears or concerns you have about choosing yourself first. What are the underlying beliefs or societal expectations that contribute to these fears? How can you challenge those beliefs and reframe your perspective to embrace self-care as a necessary and beneficial practice?

Remember, journaling is a personal and introspective process. Take the time to reflect on these questions honestly and without judgment. Use this opportunity to gain insights about yourself and develop a lose plan to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

How to Handle Friendships when you have Anxiety

Lets explore a little bit about friendship anxiety, which is somewhat related to Social Anxiety, what that means, and how it can impact relationships. Friendships are an essential aspect of our lives, providing support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. However, for some individuals, the concept of friendship can be accompanied by a sense of anxiety known as friendship anxiety. Friendship anxiety in a nutshell is the fear, worry, or unease experienced in social interactions and the maintenance of friendships. It can manifest as an overwhelming concern about being judged, rejected, or not living up to the expectations of others. This type of anxiety can significantly impact relationships, leading to avoidance, self-doubt, and strained connections. 

Friendship anxiety can take a toll on relationships and mental health in various ways. Firstly, individuals with friendship anxiety may hesitate to initiate or maintain new friendships due to a fear of rejection. This fear can lead to missed opportunities for meaningful connections and a limited social circle. Additionally, existing friendships may suffer as the anxious individual constantly doubts themselves and their worthiness as a friend. They may second-guess their actions, overanalyze conversations, or become excessively clingy, ultimately straining the relationship and creating an imbalance. Over time, this anxiety can erode trust and create a barrier to open communication, impeding the growth and longevity of the friendship.

Recognizing and addressing friendship anxiety is important because if it is left to fester, it can greatly hinder healthy relationships. The first step is self-awareness. Acknowledge and understand your anxiety, recognizing that it is a common experience that can be managed. Seek support from trusted friends or family members who can provide a listening ear and offer reassurance. Maybe look into counseling or therapy for mental health treatment to address both the anxiety and the other feelings that can occur from the anxiety. Developing self-compassion and practicing self-care can also help reduce anxiety levels. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation, such as meditation or exercise, can be beneficial. Friendship anxiety can significantly impact relationships, leading to missed opportunities, strained connections, and decreased overall well-being. It is important to remember that anxiety is a common experience, and you are not alone in your struggles. By recognizing and addressing friendship anxiety, seeking support, and practicing self-care, it is possible to build and maintain meaningful connections. Embrace the journey of self-discovery, be patient with yourself, and remember that friendships are built on understanding, trust, and acceptance.

So lets look at some specific ways to handle friendship anxiety and some questions to ask ourselves about our experience with it.

Reflect on your Friendship Anxiety:

• Take a moment to explore your own experiences with friendship anxiety. What are the specific fears or concerns that arise when it comes to forming or maintaining friendships? How has friendship anxiety affected your past or current relationships? Reflect on any patterns or triggers that contribute to your anxiety. Allow yourself to delve deep into your emotions and thoughts surrounding friendship anxiety, understanding its impact on your life.  Consider the idea that your brian is “lying” to you in regards to this anxiety, how does it feel to consider that and what implications does that have on what’s going on in your friendships?

Identifying Coping Skills:

• Consider the strategies or techniques that have helped you navigate friendship anxiety in the past. What coping mechanisms or self-care practices have provided relief or a sense of calm? Are there any specific affirmations or positive self-talk that have helped counter negative thoughts or beliefs? Reflect on the people or resources that provide support and encouragement during times of friendship anxiety. What steps can you take to ensure you have a strong support system in place?

Cultivating Self-Compassion and Self-Care:

• Friendship anxiety often stems from self-doubt and fear of judgment. Explore ways in which you can cultivate self-compassion and acceptance. How can you be kinder and more forgiving toward yourself when experiencing friendship anxiety? Are there self-care activities or self-reflection exercises that can help you build a stronger sense of self-worth? Consider how practicing self-compassion can positively impact your ability to form and maintain healthy friendships.

Setting Boundaries and Communication:

• Reflect on your current approach to setting boundaries and communicating your needs within friendships. Are you comfortable expressing your feelings and concerns? How do you handle conflicts or disagreements? Explore ways in which you can improve your communication skills to alleviate friendship anxiety. Consider assertiveness techniques or strategies that can help you navigate challenging situations while maintaining the integrity of your relationships.

Seeking Growth Opportunities:

• Friendship anxiety can hinder personal growth and limit social interactions. Identify areas where you feel comfortable stepping out of your comfort zone to foster new connections. How can you challenge yourself to engage in activities or join communities that align with your interests? Reflect on the potential benefits and growth opportunities that lie beyond your anxiety. Visualize the type of friendships you aspire to have and consider the steps you can take to make them a reality.

For additional thoughts on this concept, click HERE for a blog post on how to put a pause on those pesky automatic negative thoughts.