Communication in Healthy Relationships

Maintaining healthy relationships can be challenging, particularly when mental health challenges are involved. Effective communication and establishing clear boundaries become essential components in fostering understanding, support, and respect. So let's focus on how to navigate relationships while managing mental health challenges, emphasizing the importance of open communication and establishing healthy boundaries.

Open and Honest Communication: Clear and open communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and it becomes even more crucial when mental health challenges are present. Sharing your thoughts, feelings, and needs with your loved ones can help them better understand your experiences and provide the support you require. Be honest about your emotions and articulate your boundaries and expectations regarding your mental health. Encourage your loved ones to ask questions and actively listen to their concerns. Together, you can work towards a deeper understanding and create an environment that fosters empathy and compassion. Look up “I Messages” in communication for a really easy and effective communication strategy.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries: Setting and maintaining boundaries  are vital for maintaining your mental well-being while navigating relationships. Identify what feels comfortable and healthy for you, and communicate those boundaries clearly with your loved ones. This could include limits on discussing certain topics, understanding when you need space or alone time, or establishing boundaries around providing emotional support. Remember, setting boundaries is not selfish—it is an act of self-care that ensures you can prioritize your mental health needs. Mutual respect for each other's boundaries strengthens the foundation of your relationship and fosters a healthier dynamic. I talk a lot about boundaries and use a green stop sign as an example (if I haven’t shared that with you, let me know and I will), how can you use your green stop sign in your relationship?

Reflecting on your own relationships and mental health challenges, how have your mental health challenges influenced your relationships in the past, and what boundaries or communication strategies could you implement to promote healthier dynamics? Explore any patterns you have noticed and consider how you can effectively communicate your needs and expectations with your loved ones. What have you tried (and maybe are still trying) that isn’t working?

Journal Prompt: Releasing Sadness through Storytelling

I read a story the other day about a woman who’d had a terrible experience and was struggling to work past it. She said she read a story about trading memories for butterflies and although this was simply a metaphor, it intrigued me enough to do a little digging and figure out what she was talking about.  I found the story and wanted to share it with you to see if it resonated with you in any way.  Here’s the story if you want to read the whole thing.

“I will trade you one terrible memory for a memory I have of a young pine tree covered in butterflies.

A hundred monarchs resting on their long flight have lit here, on these green needles.  You reach out.  The tired creatures crawl onto your arms, wings slowly parting and closing, parting and closing, as they breathe.  They rest, covering you in magic.  You spin in the sunlight, laughing.  You are very small, and they glow like candles behind colored glass.

I will trade you one awful, inescapable thing for this one golden moment in time, this moment of honeycomb light and a warm autumn day tapering to endless evening.

Look, you have made the trade.  You can take your memory back anytime, but you do not need to bear it always.  Now I will hold it for you so that for a while it can be smaller and further away.

Look at the butterflies.”

After reading this, is there a memory that comes up for you that you’d want to trade for butterflies?  Is there someone in your life who you wish you could take an awful memory from them and replace it with butterflies?  How did this story play out in your feelings and what did it make you think about?

Journal Prompt: Using Mindfulness to Create Self Love

This journal prompt is also a mindfulness practice that I’ve done many times over the years with people and in general it’s a good one to practice, especially this time of year when we might be feeling a bit chaotic and saturated with all of our responsibilities.  It’s called Kind Thoughts.  The goal is to try and do this practice maybe 2-3 times during the week and then journal about your experience.  If you want to journal before trying it and then again afterwards, that’s a great idea too.  Do whatever works for you.

Sit on the floor or a chair in a comfortable position and close your eyes.  Pretend in your mind that someone you care about very much walks into the room and sits right next to you.  Notice what it feels like to sit with this person and how they make you feel.  Let's send this person some good wishes and kind thoughts.  Let's send them happiness, health, safety, and kindness.  How does it feel to send these wishes to this person?  Was it easy to do or hard to do?  

Now let's imagine in our mind that someone who we find a little bit annoying or frustrating walks into the room and sits next to you. Notice what it feels like to sit with this person and how they make you feel.  Let's send this person some good wishes and kind thoughts.  Let's send them happiness, health, safety, and kindness.  How does it feel to send these wishes to this person?  Was it easy to do or hard to do?  Was it different when it was someone we didn’t feel as positively about?

Now let's imagine in our mind that we are sitting in front of a mirror.  Imagine opening your eyes and looking at yourself in the mirror.  Notice what it feels like to sit with yourself and how you feel about yourself.  Let's send ourselves some good wishes and kind thoughts.  Let’s send happiness, health, safety, and kindness.  How does it feel to send these wishes to ourselves?  Was it easy or hard to do?  Was it different than when it was to someone else?  

Notice how you feel after sending all these wishes out and take a few deep breaths and then gently open your eyes.  

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be peaceful.

May you be safe.