One thing that has become increasingly problematic is how we are navigating our work-life balance and how we are holding boundaries around work. I’m not totally sure they were great to begin with, but the COVID years definitely created an additional layer of stress and mental health strain due to the idea that we were no longer working from home, we were living at work. And so now that we are coming out of the pandemic and going back to “normal” work-life balance, people are struggling to find the balance even more than they were several years ago. It is causing tremendous strain on our mental health. Our work life is never going to be satisfied with how much we can give to it, and so it is up to us to create and hold the boundaries that make work less of a situation where we feel unbalanced.

There are a lot of boundary issues that come up in people’s work lives, but what are some common boundary issues that people face in the workplace? One of the most common challenges people face is not knowing how to say "no" when they're asked to take on additional tasks or responsibilities. This can result in feeling overwhelmed and overworked and as if you are always working at a deficit and can never reach that balance point.

Another boundary issue that people often encounter is not knowing how to deal with difficult colleagues or supervisors. This can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment, which can ultimately impact your job satisfaction and performance.

So, what can we do? Here are some tips to keep in mind when navigating boundary issues at work:

Learn to say "no." I’ve talked about this before, and why it is important to be assertive and communicate your boundaries clearly. Saying no to tasks that are outside of your job description or that you don't have the capacity to complete can help prevent burnout and reduce stress levels.
Set realistic goals. It's important to set goals that are attainable and aligned with your skills and abilities. Setting unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of failure and frustration, which can ultimately impact your motivation and job satisfaction.
Prioritize self-care. I’ve also talked about this before. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries. This can include taking breaks, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in activities that bring you joy outside of work.
Communicate effectively. Effective communication is key to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in the workplace. This means being clear and direct in your communication, listening actively, and responding appropriately.
Establish consequences for boundary violations. If someone repeatedly violates your boundaries, it's important to establish consequences. This can include having a conversation with them, involving HR, or even considering finding a new job.

Another idea is to seek support from a therapist. Obviously I’m biased, but working with a therapist or counselor in psychotherapy to focus on your work-life boundaries can be incredibly helpful. If you're struggling to maintain healthy boundaries in the workplace, counseling can be a place to be strategic around where your boundaries are as well as plan out how to maintain them if needed. What can a therapist help you with? I’m glad you asked, here’s a few things to keep in mind when looking for therapy around work boundaries:

A therapist can provide a safe and confidential space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings about your boundaries in the workplace.

White background with green watercolor paint, and the text "Four Ways a Counselor Can Help With Work Boundaries" and then the four ways listed within the main text.

A therapist can help you identify patterns within your own behavior that may be contributing to your boundary issues. They can help you understand your underlying emotions and beliefs that may be contributing to the problem you are facing.

A therapist can work with you to develop effective communication skills and problem-solving strategies to help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries in the workplace both with your workload and with the people in your office..

A therapist can provide ongoing support and encouragement as you work to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in the workplace.

Want a sneak peak at my new office on Main Street in Pennington? Click HERE and scroll down for some gorgeous photos!

Welcome to 2023! We have been living in such a duality the past few years, navigating between risking our health and safety vs risking our version of normal. And I don’t think anyone can say that they’ve enjoyed this version of risk, most people are over it. But remember back before the pandemic when we thought about taking risks? Maybe it was about applying for a new job, or moving to a new home, or starting a new relationship. Or maybe it was as simple as reaching out to an old friend. Risk can be the idea of doing something scary, but within a controlled level of danger, such as riding roller coasters or watching scary movies that are sure to induce nightmares. So let’s think about that concept for a moment. Riding a roller coaster can be scary, but it’s (for the most part) a controlled environment and so the risk of actually endangering yourself is pretty minimal. You get all the thrill of the risk, with the knowledge you’ll probably come out of the experience perfectly fine.

White background with green watercolor drops and the Dalai Lama quote "Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk".

But what about real risks, ones that could impact your livelihood or your family’s? I want you to focus on the concept of risk in the same way we think about the concept of change. Specifically a change we have to do, for whatever reason. Making a change in our life, whether it’s a job, moving to a new home, starting or ending a relationship, reaching out to someone in a new way, or speaking up for ourselves in ways that are new to us, is all a risk. Even being in therapy can be a risk, you have no idea what types of Jedi mind tricks I might try to pull (spoiler alert, absolutely none, I’m pretty up front about my therapeutic ways).

Now take a moment to look at your life through a critical lens. I want you to focus on one thing in your life right now that you’ve been considering changing and pretend for a minute you already made the change, you’ve already taken the risk. You already gave your boss that two weeks notice, or you told your roommate that you’re moving out. Maybe you’re taking a pay cut for a job that allows you more freedom or you’ve decided to break up a friendship that became more draining than content. Whatever it is, pretend you’ve already done the hard part, you’ve already taken the risk. What does your life look like now? What is different in your life? What is better or worse, or are things about the same just changed in a new direction? Take notice of how your mind feels in this “new” space, can you notice a change in the tension in your body? You may actually feel more tense as you adjust to this new experience, or maybe you find yourself feeling less tense as you’ve lost something that was holding you back.

Now look back on the past year and any changes you made, any actual risks you’ve already accomplished. Can you see some examples when outcomes were varied or maybe didn’t end up the way you would have wanted them to when you made choices? Did your choices fully reflect who you are or were they made in a reactionary way rather than a deliberate way? Looking back, was the change you made worth it and will you make the same choice if faced with the same situation again? Can you see the stops you took to make the change and how it played out for you? Now, take a few moments to really experience what it would be like to make the next change you are thinking of for this year. Keep that feeling in your brain, in an accessible place, whenever you start to doubt yourself or talk yourself out of making the change.

Mindfully- Meredith

PS: Speaking of risks, I’ve had a few people recently reach out to me about therapy in NYC and I wanted to share this lovely therapist’s contact info. I am not licensed in NY so as much as I’d love to be able to continue to work with people who are moving from NJ to NY, I cannot. Here’s a resources for you if you happen to fall into that category.